Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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