i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
