Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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