So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
