we're blogging at a bar
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
