so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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