Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
