Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize