Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize