I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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