I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
