Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
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