Your mouth is God's brothel.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You need Xanax blowdarts
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
