Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I touched a dick in church today
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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