dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Who died my cat blue again?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
