hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
