I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
