the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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