look no pants
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
