I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
