It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
