Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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