sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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