How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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