How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
