she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
