the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
