Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
