Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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