The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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