His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
