I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
