she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
