I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Shame - the story of my life.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
