margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
