That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The convent might be a nice break from real life
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
