he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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