I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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