you guys were way drunker than both of me
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Randomize
