He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
