operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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