whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
