If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
