Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
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