dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize