I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
