He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
