tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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