have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
