I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You can't special order awesome
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
