I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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