Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
