We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
the condom got lost in my hair
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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