Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
