i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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