respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I supernannyed him into submission
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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