I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
