New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
