Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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