The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize