Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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