Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
