so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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