Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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